The Great Mole Hunt


Jaswant Singh dropped a bombshell the other day when he claimed that there was a mole in the PMO. I spoke to a lot of people and asked them their thoughts on the disclosure.

It all started when I ran into the Minister for Forests and Husbandry. He was quite surprised at the disclosure and had the following to say. “This is a great discovery. Moles are fast getting extinct. My department has been running from pillar to post searching for moles. But we have been unable to find any. I have already dispatched a crack team to the PMO where we shall find this mole and put him in a zoo. The people of this country have a right to see moles when they feel like it. Apart from that we will also be attempting to mate the mole so that we can have moles all around our country.”

This obviously led me to a prominent animal rights leader. She was furious to hear that the Ministry was thinking of caging the mole in a zoo. “These people have no heart. The mole is a free animal and should be allowed to live so. We will protest any move to cage the mole. It should be allowed to roam free in our forests. Plus it has been proven that moles mate better in the wild than when caged up.”

My next stop was the Ministry of Health where I met an aide of the minister. “These people have got it all wrong I say. The Ministry is looking into this strange mole that has cropped up in the PMO. We believe that it may be the result of biological warfare by our unfriendly neighbor. We have got used to having moles all over us, and we look at them as simple birthmarks. But a mole that suddenly appears at the age of 60 should not be looked at seriously.”

With so many of the ministries taking the event so seriously, I decided to go the PMO and get a comment on the mysterious mole. There I met a prominent leader from Bihar who had the following to say, “Thabela ki kammi hain yahan pe.” There is a lack of cowsheds here. “Hamare Bihar mein kabhi koi mole nahin dikha kyonki molon ko ghay se darr hai.” Because moles are afraid of cows.

Satisfied with the prompt and effective response of our leaders on this very important issue, I headed for the nearest bar where a very American-looking man slid up to me saying, “Say, how do you? You work in the building there?” He was pointing to the Prime Minister’s office building which I had just come out of.

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